Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Tuesday, February 19 2008 @ 09:58 AM EST
Tuesday, February 19 2008 @ 09:58 AM EST
Contributed by: Don WinnerViews: 2,989
By DON WINNER for Panama-Guide.com - I try to take it easy, and not to become upset or frustrated at the little speed-bumps life throws your way. There's an expression in Panamanian Spanish - "El primero que se empute, pierde." (The first to get pissed off, loses.) Following that advice I usually try to stay cool and calm no matter what happens. But this morning the fine folks at Cable Onda managed to push my buttons - proving time and time again they are completely, absolutely, and totally inept at "customer service." That's the Reader's Digest version - they suck. A slightly longer version would go something like "there is probably no company in the Republic of Panama with worse customer service than Cable Onda." Now, I'm going to vent my spleen a little... (more)
The Whole Enchilada: As you might already know I am in the process of remodeling my new apartment. I've learned over time Cable Onda has the best package combination if you want Cable television, high-speed internet, and two local telephone lines. It's simply easier as well to pay one bill for these services, and their Internet service is very stable. So, I decided to drop by the Cable Onda office in Multiplaza to sign up. I was there anyway for some other reason I I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone. No big deal, right?
I Like Cable Onda's Service: Notice - I'm only bitching about Cable Onda's customer service section. I like their combined package of cable television, high-speed Internet, and local telephone numbers. As a matter of fact I've been a customer of theirs for years. But make no mistake about it - their customer service flat-out sucks. Worst in the country, bar none. They need to fix that.
Did You Bring A Sleeping Bag? The suck-ass customer service Cable Onda provides starts with their satellite offices. There was a line a mile long, and "the only person who can sign a new contract for a new installation is the supervisor." There were about six or seven other employees in the store but none of them could help me - I had to wait for the boss (lady.) So, I waited. And waited. And waited. I watched a slow procession of hapless would-be "customers," all of whom were in the exact same position as I was, waited until called to be attended by the "supervisor." And eventually it was my turn. No kidding, and no exaggeration - the wait was like two hours just to be called, and it was taking about 30 minutes per customer. So, in the two hours that I waited she was only able to crank out about three or four contracts. Slow as molasses. Slow and painful. Like watching a drunk sloth give birth...
Finally, My Turn: Ya-hoo! Eventually I was called before the Golden Alter of the Office of the Branch Supervisor who had the exulted power of the pen and supreme authority to sign contracts for service. At this point my mind was thinking "Free at last, free at last..." -- but wait a minute. I still have to go through my agonizing 30 minute ordeal of doing the contract. They do them by hand - scratchy pen and ink style. Even though these people should already have all of my personal and customer information readily available in a computer database somewhere because I use their services for both my office and my former residence, they treated me like a total stranger. And, rather than just being able to take all of that data and plugging it into a new contract to be printed up, which should have taken a grand total of like thirty seconds, if fact we resorted back to the level of the scratchy #2 pencil - and filled out a new contract by hand. Wonderful. I did my 30 minute sloth-birthing ceremony and after a grand total of 2.5 hours in their clutches, I left victorious. Now, hallelujah, services will be installed in the new apartment. With my hard-won contracts in hand, I departed the field of battle.
Scheduled to Install: Honestly, we were in the middle of a complete remodeling of the apartment when the first team arrived to install the services in late December. We arrived at the joint conclusion it would make more sense to wait until the work in the apartment was done and to have the services installed at a later date. I agreed to coordinate with Cable Onda when we were ready for them to come back. No problem, have a great day...
Now, The End Of January: Sometime in the end of January I called Cable Onda to schedule another appointment to have the services installed. I was given a date that was like two weeks down the road. I asked them "is there any way it can be installed sooner?" They said they would check with the scheduler to see if they could fit me in sooner, and that they would let me know. I emphasized they should coordinate with me via cell phone once they have a date, in order to make sure I would be available to supervise the installation. I mean, we're doing four televisions with digital boxes, high-speed Internet with modem, and two phone lines. I wanted to be there to make sure things were done right, and that all of the wires were going to the right places. "No problem," they said. Thanks, and have a great day.
My Cell Phone Rings: I was in a boat in Bocas del Toro, going from one island to another, chasing down the story of Veronica Castillo and the land stolen from her by Carmen Silva and the Gaslin family when my cell phone rang. "Hello, Mister Winner. It's us, the technical guys from Cable Onda. We're down here in front of your apartment, and you need to let us in..." Sorry, guys, but that's not going to work. I'm up here in Bocas, you see. And I guess they missed the part where I told them six times they should be certain to coordinate with me to make sure I was going to be available. OK, never mind. I'll reschedule.
The Real Reason Why I Hate SUNTRACS: When did Cable Onda reschedule to do the install? Last week on Wednesday, 13 February, the day SUNTRACS decided to shut down Panama City. During the morning I called the offices of Cable Onda to see if they were going to be doing the job anyway, and I got a recording -- "Due to circumstances beyond our control, our customer service center will be closed today..." Great. Friggin' SUNTRACS bastards. Now I have to reschedule again...
Back To Cable Onda: Those guys are now getting to know me, by name. Ok, first the remodeling thing (my fault.) Next, the Bocas thing (their fault, they were supposed to call first.) Then, the SUNTRACS thing (not their fault, either.) So although I'm getting frustrated there are elements of these delays beyond their control - so I'm trying not to vent in their general direction. But when I called them back again last week to see when they were going to install my package, I was told (literally, and this is a quote) "I see here you were programmed to be installed, but that they were unable to do the installation because of the strikes. All of those people who were programmed are now programmed to be reprogrammed, and so far you have not been programmed. But don't worry, when you are programmed again, I've programmed a note here to inform you. When that happens, we will let you know." In other words, don't call us, we will call you. Great. The official answer = just sit there and wait for us to get around to you. You know, like we did back in December in Multiplaza... Have a nice friggin' day.
Finally, Enough: Yesterday morning I called back to break the logjam. I decided it was time to have the services installed and if I had to bitch, scream, kick, and throw stones like a commie labor union leader on crack then that's what I was going to do. I called (again) to 390-7555 their "customer service" number to ask if they had gotten around to reprogram the program that was programmed but was deprogrammed due to the nonprogrammed SUNTRACS strike. And notice I had to make the call when they said they were programmed to call me when I was programmed (I'm not making this shit up, I mean it.) Yesterday I was informed they had programmed my installation for Friday, 22 Feb 2008. I simply said that was too long, that I had been waiting for weeks to have this done, and I wanted it done now - either yesterday or today. I'm sorry, but I insist...
Let Me Talk To Your Boss: The first line guy who answers the phone has no power or authority to change shit. They are trained chimps who can only stack the marbles in the clear plastic tubes, and God Forbid something out of the ordinary has to occur. And, they really (really) don't want you to talk to their boss - they see that as some kind of a defeat. So even though they are incapable and powerless of effecting change, they are also exceptionally hesitant to pass you to the person who has the power to re-stack the marbles. I finally had to insist that I be allowed to speak to a supervisor - but to get there I had to say (strongly) "I demand you pass me to your supervisor -- now! Is that clear enough?" I was finally passed to a supervisor who was endowed with the God-like power to change to the schedule - a technician would be there tomorrow morning at 8:00 am. And again, thank you very much. Finally, installation was programmed. Maybe now I could see some programming, or do some programming. The program was looking better.
One Guy, Wrong Instructions: Cable Onda uses a "sub-contractor" system to have the work done. In other words, the people who show up at your house are not actually Cable Onda employees but rather just a service company Cable Onda uses to do the install. When the guy arrived this morning his work order did not reflect that I had also ordered two telephone lines, and they had sent him out with the wrong equipment. He did not have the right modem needed to do the job. Also, the cable (the actual physical wire) installed in the apartment dated from 1993 when the building was built and it would have to be changed out and upgraded. He could not re-cable the entire apartment by himself. And besides that, he didn't have the right modem anyway... He suggested that I call Cable Onda to program a rescheduling... (...insert sound of pissed off customer chambering a round into the .12 gauge shotgun here...)
Exploding Head Syndrome: So, I hopped back into my car and returned to the office. I found the original signed contract (the same hard-won contract from December 2007) which indicated, in fact, that I had signed up for two telephone lines. I then spent the next three hours (no shit) on the phone with a series of "customer service" technicians at Cable Onda. I was finally able to convince them that yes, in fact, I had a contract. They asked me to fax it to them, which I did. But their fax machine was broken or something and it didn't go through. Finally I had to scan the contract in and email it to them. So here I am, sending Cable Onda a copy of the contract. You would think they might have that available already, no?
Victory Is At Hand: At this moment Cable Onda is now convinced (with documentation, a copy of the contract) that I have, in fact, ordered the services. The technician has gone away for now, with a promise to return at 2:00 pm this afternoon with his supervisor, and together they will re-cable the apartment and complete the installation. Cable Onda has modified the work order to ensure Sparky shows up with the right modem and equipment to provide all of the services are required by contractual obligation. And as for me, well I'm not dancing around like the New York Giants in the Superbowl just yet - the fat lady will sing when it's all actually plugged in and turned on. But at least for now it looks like I'm getting there, slowly but surely.
Automatic Email Response: Remember that I had to scan in the contract and email it to Cable Onda? When i did, I received an automatic email response from their "customer service" system saying they would get back to me in three days. Again, another indication that they don't give a rat's ass about your time - or you as a customer.
All Of This Was In Spanish: My Spanish language skills are pretty damn good. I can curse you out and make it sound like I'm from the Northern regions of Argentina or the mountains of El Salvador when I really want to. I can only imagine what it must be like for the rest of your poor suckers out there who are tilting against the this Cable Onda windmill like Don Quixote in English. No matter what happens, I ask you please, don't kill anyone. It's not worth it.
A Reflection of Extreme Frustration: Hey, asshole, why not make a recording of this to "improve future customer service" -- I really hope the fine people at Cable Onda work hard - and I mean really really hard, to improve their customer service and customer relations. At several points I had to simply cut off the "first line robot," meaning the call center guy who does not have the authorization to do anything at all out of the normal routine by saying "I want to speak to your supervisor, now. Right now. Do you understand?" They really don't want to have to pass your call to their supervisor because they apparently think that's some kind of personal failure. They are not properly trained or equipped to do the jobs being asked of them.
Automate the Contract Process: It should take about 20 minutes or less, from start to finish, to fill out and sign a service contract like this. What's more, why can't I provide the information on line and just drop by at my leisure to sign the prepared contract in 30 seconds? Or at the very least, if your office is backed up like a toilet in La Joya you could have just said "Mr. Winner, we're a little swamped right now. I've made an appointment for you in two hours. Can you come back then? Why not go catch a movie or something and then come back, and we can take care of you." Anything would be better than the current "sit right here on your ass until we get around to taking care of you" attitude. Get a clue, people - my time is more valuable (to me) than yours. Respect that - or read this.
Now, I'll Get A Phone Call: Golly, gee, Mr. Winner, we didn't realize how bad we suck ass at customer service. Is there anything we can do to get you to pull down that article you posted on your Panama-Guide.com website? Please? It might hurt our business. Yeah, butthead - free Internet to my office for a year at 2 gigs. Other than that - pound sand. Or, you can sue me. Or even better yet - convince me you've fixed your "customer service" problems. I have spent (and I continue to spend) hours and hours and hours on the telephone with these (misnamed) "customer service" people, trying to get them to unscrew the cluster-fuck they have created for themselves. Consider this to be my own personal version of a customer feedback form. It's not me bitching - I'm just concerned about the rest of the English speaking expatriate customer market base. And on their behalf (insert Bronx Cheer Here...) Of course, this might all be in vain, but at the very least I feel better - you know, like when you have some trapped gas or something... ahhhh...
Equal Time: Not wanting to be accused of only reporting one side of the story, anyone who has great things to say about the customer service provided by Cable Onda, please send me an email and I will happily post it here. On the other hand, anyone who would like to add their "me too's" to this story, please comment below. Thanks for playing.
Copyright 2008 by Don Winner for Panama-Guide.com. Go ahead and use whatever you like as long as you credit the source. Salud.
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: ColdHit on Wednesday, February 20 2008 @ 08:40 AM EST
"...They are trained chimps who can only stack the marbles in the clear plastic tubes..." This is classic. I could not have said it better.
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: JohnAFacade on Thursday, February 21 2008 @ 01:53 PM EST
When I'd reached the end of my rope with 8...count 'em EIGHT missed appointments and B.S. excuses from everybody and their brother at CableOnda, I made the same promise to them that I did to Cable and Wireless when they did something very similar to my friends in Paitilla. I told them that if they didn't keep their next installation appointment, I would come to their office and sit on their desk until I received a phone call from my friends confirming that the line was installed and working correctly. CableOnda did actually install the Internet on the 9th appointment and I happily called the woman back to tell her that she'd be saved my 240 lb. gringo ass in her face and on her desk, all day. 8 missed and completed on the 9th only confirms for me that CableOnda is the worst when combined with the stories I've heard from friends and now this. Shame for Cable and Wireless when they ignored my promise and I did go to their Multicentro office, pushed the security guard out of the way and took a seat on the girl's desk for the 45 minutes it took for them to fix the problem they'd been fuxing up for 2 weeks. It's amazing what a raised voice and a large gringo sitting on a desk refusing to move will do for a bunch of lazy Panamanians whose jobs don't depend on actually doing their jobs, but rather on breathing rythmically and waiting for more vacation time and extra pay.
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: LaFula on Monday, February 25 2008 @ 04:19 PM EST
Hi,My Spanish is not the best but i can curse up a blue storm in spanish out of sheer necessity. The most frustrating thing i have found in this country is the total lack of customer service from some of its biggest stores and business's. I do not blame the employee i blame the OWNER. I don't even have an account with Cable Onda but they kept ringing my house day and night for months asking for some name i cant remember and i did everything bar from blow a whistle down the phone. I finally sent an email direct to the manager telling them to update their friggin data base and stop ringing me or i would sue them for harassment. They stopped ringing. I honestly feel that if Panama wants to step into the current time zone these mega rich business owners need to SPEND some of their money on training and updating their business capabilities to include new software and foreign training of their staff if need be.If people do not complain the filthy rich of Panama wont bother putting their hands in their pockets. They will just keep milking their outdated and worn out systems and let their poor staff cop the brunt of all our anger. There are many business's in panama including the mobile phone companies ( 2 only right now) who are in desperate need of a kick up their culo's. I feel for the staff of these companies who's hands are tied most times because of the "rules" set by the owners. But Don, i can relate wholeheartedly and keep up the good writing - your choice of adjectives keeps me laughing.
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: russ2006 on Sunday, March 02 2008 @ 11:33 AM EST
I sometimes go to the Cable Onda office in Albrook Mall from time to time to pay my bill ..so I go and wait my turn and get to the window and ask why this bill is $17.00 higher than the last bill since I have not upgraded any services..a fair question that draws a zombian blank stare from the never smile blank stare zombian at the window and no movement...I re-ask the question...she doesn't know..blank stare..no movement..well, why not go ask someone, okay, because I obviously require a freakin answer. .."nosotros empleado hacer una differencia" She reluctantly gets up leaves her glasses payments cage and walks to the desk directly behind me..not three feet away..to a woman (supervisor) that has heard the entire conversation but has chosen to avoid the issue and stare into her computer. They mutter and mutter and mutter..type on the keyboard..finally, the supervisor goes back to staring into her computer and clerk walks past me and goes back into her cage...she comes to her stool at my window and says...no se...I turn to the supervisor..okay now tell me the deal..why is it $17.00 higher..she never once looks up at me..no concern whatsoever..that must be a the new rate charge, sir prices are going up on everything..I was dismissed with the waive of a hand..whatever..I pay it...the next month, Cable Onda's bill arrives the $17.00 is deducted from my bill as an overpayment..you paid too much you estupido gringo...I hear my Panamanian friends talk about these kinds of small stuff pain in the butt issues and they say, "yes, but that's just the way it is.." is it? It is only because you let it stay that way..Evidently customer service in this country will never improve until the average Panamanian gets fed up with being treated like a sap and starts smacking the plantain poo out of those who treat them so badly...
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: Nick Jamaica on Thursday, March 20 2008 @ 06:39 PM EDT
Well, I'd have to agree with you that they really are some screwed up outfit. It's amazing that we even get service. My bitch with them is their installs. They didn't come for two weeks after I signed the contract. I'm just going to keep them the last bill I pay until I can find something better, if there is. Can you get DirecTV or some other satellite here?
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: Capt. Morgan on Saturday, April 19 2008 @ 09:31 AM EDT
I've been here 10yrs. now and with every year the horror stories about this inept company only get worse. Let me tell you how screwed up these morons are. I've spoken to people who have gotten fed up, cancelled their service, are no longer billed, but their Cable Onda programming continues. We're not talking about "pirating," but rather no one ever bothers to shut off their service. We're also not talking about days or weeks, but at least a year or more.I refuse to use these people anymore. Although I've never used Direct TV, I've been told they're not much better. Watching free TV stations from around the world on this computer suits me just fine.What I read in Mr.Winner's article is indicative of the ol' "Pass the Buck" mentality prevalent in this society. It's a systematic problem. There's layers upon layers of bureaucracy with a lot of "empty suits" occupying cubicles and offices.Yeah, really...these guys are absolutely the worst!
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: marty_b on Monday, May 26 2008 @ 02:31 PM EDT
Buyer Beware! Any business currently considering Cable Onda as a provider should re-think immediately. We were hit with that mistake and it is painful. For the past 3 weeks we have had daily service outages, with our telephone lines dropping for extended periods of time.Cable Onda is unable to cope with the number of customers they have and are at present randomly switching out telephone connections to hide the truth: They don't have the infrastructure in place to handle their customers. The service node in the Cangrejo/Bella Vista Area is over capacity and so they are randomly dropping numbers each day in an effort to cope with their problem. The internet service is suffering a similar problem: There is a standard 3% packet loss on their network due to their bad management, meaning that many services such as VOIP telephones, streaming music, streaming video, etc will not work at present Anyone wishing to leave Cable Onda should be aware that it is possible to transfer your number to another provider, but Cable Onda, will fight tooth and nail to retain you as a customer. Panamanian law requires them to release the telephone number to another provider, but you will probably need a lawyer to get it done. If you are just a residential customer wanting to watch TV then you are probably OK, but if you have telephone or internet service with this bunch of layabouts then it's time to jump ship before you get hit.
By DON WINNER for Panama-Guide.com - I try to take it easy, and not to become upset or frustrated at the little speed-bumps life throws your way. There's an expression in Panamanian Spanish - "El primero que se empute, pierde." (The first to get pissed off, loses.) Following that advice I usually try to stay cool and calm no matter what happens. But this morning the fine folks at Cable Onda managed to push my buttons - proving time and time again they are completely, absolutely, and totally inept at "customer service." That's the Reader's Digest version - they suck. A slightly longer version would go something like "there is probably no company in the Republic of Panama with worse customer service than Cable Onda." Now, I'm going to vent my spleen a little... (more)
The Whole Enchilada: As you might already know I am in the process of remodeling my new apartment. I've learned over time Cable Onda has the best package combination if you want Cable television, high-speed internet, and two local telephone lines. It's simply easier as well to pay one bill for these services, and their Internet service is very stable. So, I decided to drop by the Cable Onda office in Multiplaza to sign up. I was there anyway for some other reason I I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone. No big deal, right?
I Like Cable Onda's Service: Notice - I'm only bitching about Cable Onda's customer service section. I like their combined package of cable television, high-speed Internet, and local telephone numbers. As a matter of fact I've been a customer of theirs for years. But make no mistake about it - their customer service flat-out sucks. Worst in the country, bar none. They need to fix that.
Did You Bring A Sleeping Bag? The suck-ass customer service Cable Onda provides starts with their satellite offices. There was a line a mile long, and "the only person who can sign a new contract for a new installation is the supervisor." There were about six or seven other employees in the store but none of them could help me - I had to wait for the boss (lady.) So, I waited. And waited. And waited. I watched a slow procession of hapless would-be "customers," all of whom were in the exact same position as I was, waited until called to be attended by the "supervisor." And eventually it was my turn. No kidding, and no exaggeration - the wait was like two hours just to be called, and it was taking about 30 minutes per customer. So, in the two hours that I waited she was only able to crank out about three or four contracts. Slow as molasses. Slow and painful. Like watching a drunk sloth give birth...
Finally, My Turn: Ya-hoo! Eventually I was called before the Golden Alter of the Office of the Branch Supervisor who had the exulted power of the pen and supreme authority to sign contracts for service. At this point my mind was thinking "Free at last, free at last..." -- but wait a minute. I still have to go through my agonizing 30 minute ordeal of doing the contract. They do them by hand - scratchy pen and ink style. Even though these people should already have all of my personal and customer information readily available in a computer database somewhere because I use their services for both my office and my former residence, they treated me like a total stranger. And, rather than just being able to take all of that data and plugging it into a new contract to be printed up, which should have taken a grand total of like thirty seconds, if fact we resorted back to the level of the scratchy #2 pencil - and filled out a new contract by hand. Wonderful. I did my 30 minute sloth-birthing ceremony and after a grand total of 2.5 hours in their clutches, I left victorious. Now, hallelujah, services will be installed in the new apartment. With my hard-won contracts in hand, I departed the field of battle.
Scheduled to Install: Honestly, we were in the middle of a complete remodeling of the apartment when the first team arrived to install the services in late December. We arrived at the joint conclusion it would make more sense to wait until the work in the apartment was done and to have the services installed at a later date. I agreed to coordinate with Cable Onda when we were ready for them to come back. No problem, have a great day...
Now, The End Of January: Sometime in the end of January I called Cable Onda to schedule another appointment to have the services installed. I was given a date that was like two weeks down the road. I asked them "is there any way it can be installed sooner?" They said they would check with the scheduler to see if they could fit me in sooner, and that they would let me know. I emphasized they should coordinate with me via cell phone once they have a date, in order to make sure I would be available to supervise the installation. I mean, we're doing four televisions with digital boxes, high-speed Internet with modem, and two phone lines. I wanted to be there to make sure things were done right, and that all of the wires were going to the right places. "No problem," they said. Thanks, and have a great day.
My Cell Phone Rings: I was in a boat in Bocas del Toro, going from one island to another, chasing down the story of Veronica Castillo and the land stolen from her by Carmen Silva and the Gaslin family when my cell phone rang. "Hello, Mister Winner. It's us, the technical guys from Cable Onda. We're down here in front of your apartment, and you need to let us in..." Sorry, guys, but that's not going to work. I'm up here in Bocas, you see. And I guess they missed the part where I told them six times they should be certain to coordinate with me to make sure I was going to be available. OK, never mind. I'll reschedule.
The Real Reason Why I Hate SUNTRACS: When did Cable Onda reschedule to do the install? Last week on Wednesday, 13 February, the day SUNTRACS decided to shut down Panama City. During the morning I called the offices of Cable Onda to see if they were going to be doing the job anyway, and I got a recording -- "Due to circumstances beyond our control, our customer service center will be closed today..." Great. Friggin' SUNTRACS bastards. Now I have to reschedule again...
Back To Cable Onda: Those guys are now getting to know me, by name. Ok, first the remodeling thing (my fault.) Next, the Bocas thing (their fault, they were supposed to call first.) Then, the SUNTRACS thing (not their fault, either.) So although I'm getting frustrated there are elements of these delays beyond their control - so I'm trying not to vent in their general direction. But when I called them back again last week to see when they were going to install my package, I was told (literally, and this is a quote) "I see here you were programmed to be installed, but that they were unable to do the installation because of the strikes. All of those people who were programmed are now programmed to be reprogrammed, and so far you have not been programmed. But don't worry, when you are programmed again, I've programmed a note here to inform you. When that happens, we will let you know." In other words, don't call us, we will call you. Great. The official answer = just sit there and wait for us to get around to you. You know, like we did back in December in Multiplaza... Have a nice friggin' day.
Finally, Enough: Yesterday morning I called back to break the logjam. I decided it was time to have the services installed and if I had to bitch, scream, kick, and throw stones like a commie labor union leader on crack then that's what I was going to do. I called (again) to 390-7555 their "customer service" number to ask if they had gotten around to reprogram the program that was programmed but was deprogrammed due to the nonprogrammed SUNTRACS strike. And notice I had to make the call when they said they were programmed to call me when I was programmed (I'm not making this shit up, I mean it.) Yesterday I was informed they had programmed my installation for Friday, 22 Feb 2008. I simply said that was too long, that I had been waiting for weeks to have this done, and I wanted it done now - either yesterday or today. I'm sorry, but I insist...
Let Me Talk To Your Boss: The first line guy who answers the phone has no power or authority to change shit. They are trained chimps who can only stack the marbles in the clear plastic tubes, and God Forbid something out of the ordinary has to occur. And, they really (really) don't want you to talk to their boss - they see that as some kind of a defeat. So even though they are incapable and powerless of effecting change, they are also exceptionally hesitant to pass you to the person who has the power to re-stack the marbles. I finally had to insist that I be allowed to speak to a supervisor - but to get there I had to say (strongly) "I demand you pass me to your supervisor -- now! Is that clear enough?" I was finally passed to a supervisor who was endowed with the God-like power to change to the schedule - a technician would be there tomorrow morning at 8:00 am. And again, thank you very much. Finally, installation was programmed. Maybe now I could see some programming, or do some programming. The program was looking better.
One Guy, Wrong Instructions: Cable Onda uses a "sub-contractor" system to have the work done. In other words, the people who show up at your house are not actually Cable Onda employees but rather just a service company Cable Onda uses to do the install. When the guy arrived this morning his work order did not reflect that I had also ordered two telephone lines, and they had sent him out with the wrong equipment. He did not have the right modem needed to do the job. Also, the cable (the actual physical wire) installed in the apartment dated from 1993 when the building was built and it would have to be changed out and upgraded. He could not re-cable the entire apartment by himself. And besides that, he didn't have the right modem anyway... He suggested that I call Cable Onda to program a rescheduling... (...insert sound of pissed off customer chambering a round into the .12 gauge shotgun here...)
Exploding Head Syndrome: So, I hopped back into my car and returned to the office. I found the original signed contract (the same hard-won contract from December 2007) which indicated, in fact, that I had signed up for two telephone lines. I then spent the next three hours (no shit) on the phone with a series of "customer service" technicians at Cable Onda. I was finally able to convince them that yes, in fact, I had a contract. They asked me to fax it to them, which I did. But their fax machine was broken or something and it didn't go through. Finally I had to scan the contract in and email it to them. So here I am, sending Cable Onda a copy of the contract. You would think they might have that available already, no?
Victory Is At Hand: At this moment Cable Onda is now convinced (with documentation, a copy of the contract) that I have, in fact, ordered the services. The technician has gone away for now, with a promise to return at 2:00 pm this afternoon with his supervisor, and together they will re-cable the apartment and complete the installation. Cable Onda has modified the work order to ensure Sparky shows up with the right modem and equipment to provide all of the services are required by contractual obligation. And as for me, well I'm not dancing around like the New York Giants in the Superbowl just yet - the fat lady will sing when it's all actually plugged in and turned on. But at least for now it looks like I'm getting there, slowly but surely.
Automatic Email Response: Remember that I had to scan in the contract and email it to Cable Onda? When i did, I received an automatic email response from their "customer service" system saying they would get back to me in three days. Again, another indication that they don't give a rat's ass about your time - or you as a customer.
All Of This Was In Spanish: My Spanish language skills are pretty damn good. I can curse you out and make it sound like I'm from the Northern regions of Argentina or the mountains of El Salvador when I really want to. I can only imagine what it must be like for the rest of your poor suckers out there who are tilting against the this Cable Onda windmill like Don Quixote in English. No matter what happens, I ask you please, don't kill anyone. It's not worth it.
A Reflection of Extreme Frustration: Hey, asshole, why not make a recording of this to "improve future customer service" -- I really hope the fine people at Cable Onda work hard - and I mean really really hard, to improve their customer service and customer relations. At several points I had to simply cut off the "first line robot," meaning the call center guy who does not have the authorization to do anything at all out of the normal routine by saying "I want to speak to your supervisor, now. Right now. Do you understand?" They really don't want to have to pass your call to their supervisor because they apparently think that's some kind of personal failure. They are not properly trained or equipped to do the jobs being asked of them.
Automate the Contract Process: It should take about 20 minutes or less, from start to finish, to fill out and sign a service contract like this. What's more, why can't I provide the information on line and just drop by at my leisure to sign the prepared contract in 30 seconds? Or at the very least, if your office is backed up like a toilet in La Joya you could have just said "Mr. Winner, we're a little swamped right now. I've made an appointment for you in two hours. Can you come back then? Why not go catch a movie or something and then come back, and we can take care of you." Anything would be better than the current "sit right here on your ass until we get around to taking care of you" attitude. Get a clue, people - my time is more valuable (to me) than yours. Respect that - or read this.
Now, I'll Get A Phone Call: Golly, gee, Mr. Winner, we didn't realize how bad we suck ass at customer service. Is there anything we can do to get you to pull down that article you posted on your Panama-Guide.com website? Please? It might hurt our business. Yeah, butthead - free Internet to my office for a year at 2 gigs. Other than that - pound sand. Or, you can sue me. Or even better yet - convince me you've fixed your "customer service" problems. I have spent (and I continue to spend) hours and hours and hours on the telephone with these (misnamed) "customer service" people, trying to get them to unscrew the cluster-fuck they have created for themselves. Consider this to be my own personal version of a customer feedback form. It's not me bitching - I'm just concerned about the rest of the English speaking expatriate customer market base. And on their behalf (insert Bronx Cheer Here...) Of course, this might all be in vain, but at the very least I feel better - you know, like when you have some trapped gas or something... ahhhh...
Equal Time: Not wanting to be accused of only reporting one side of the story, anyone who has great things to say about the customer service provided by Cable Onda, please send me an email and I will happily post it here. On the other hand, anyone who would like to add their "me too's" to this story, please comment below. Thanks for playing.
Copyright 2008 by Don Winner for Panama-Guide.com. Go ahead and use whatever you like as long as you credit the source. Salud.
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: ColdHit on Wednesday, February 20 2008 @ 08:40 AM EST
"...They are trained chimps who can only stack the marbles in the clear plastic tubes..." This is classic. I could not have said it better.
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: JohnAFacade on Thursday, February 21 2008 @ 01:53 PM EST
When I'd reached the end of my rope with 8...count 'em EIGHT missed appointments and B.S. excuses from everybody and their brother at CableOnda, I made the same promise to them that I did to Cable and Wireless when they did something very similar to my friends in Paitilla. I told them that if they didn't keep their next installation appointment, I would come to their office and sit on their desk until I received a phone call from my friends confirming that the line was installed and working correctly. CableOnda did actually install the Internet on the 9th appointment and I happily called the woman back to tell her that she'd be saved my 240 lb. gringo ass in her face and on her desk, all day. 8 missed and completed on the 9th only confirms for me that CableOnda is the worst when combined with the stories I've heard from friends and now this. Shame for Cable and Wireless when they ignored my promise and I did go to their Multicentro office, pushed the security guard out of the way and took a seat on the girl's desk for the 45 minutes it took for them to fix the problem they'd been fuxing up for 2 weeks. It's amazing what a raised voice and a large gringo sitting on a desk refusing to move will do for a bunch of lazy Panamanians whose jobs don't depend on actually doing their jobs, but rather on breathing rythmically and waiting for more vacation time and extra pay.
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: LaFula on Monday, February 25 2008 @ 04:19 PM EST
Hi,My Spanish is not the best but i can curse up a blue storm in spanish out of sheer necessity. The most frustrating thing i have found in this country is the total lack of customer service from some of its biggest stores and business's. I do not blame the employee i blame the OWNER. I don't even have an account with Cable Onda but they kept ringing my house day and night for months asking for some name i cant remember and i did everything bar from blow a whistle down the phone. I finally sent an email direct to the manager telling them to update their friggin data base and stop ringing me or i would sue them for harassment. They stopped ringing. I honestly feel that if Panama wants to step into the current time zone these mega rich business owners need to SPEND some of their money on training and updating their business capabilities to include new software and foreign training of their staff if need be.If people do not complain the filthy rich of Panama wont bother putting their hands in their pockets. They will just keep milking their outdated and worn out systems and let their poor staff cop the brunt of all our anger. There are many business's in panama including the mobile phone companies ( 2 only right now) who are in desperate need of a kick up their culo's. I feel for the staff of these companies who's hands are tied most times because of the "rules" set by the owners. But Don, i can relate wholeheartedly and keep up the good writing - your choice of adjectives keeps me laughing.
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: russ2006 on Sunday, March 02 2008 @ 11:33 AM EST
I sometimes go to the Cable Onda office in Albrook Mall from time to time to pay my bill ..so I go and wait my turn and get to the window and ask why this bill is $17.00 higher than the last bill since I have not upgraded any services..a fair question that draws a zombian blank stare from the never smile blank stare zombian at the window and no movement...I re-ask the question...she doesn't know..blank stare..no movement..well, why not go ask someone, okay, because I obviously require a freakin answer. .."nosotros empleado hacer una differencia" She reluctantly gets up leaves her glasses payments cage and walks to the desk directly behind me..not three feet away..to a woman (supervisor) that has heard the entire conversation but has chosen to avoid the issue and stare into her computer. They mutter and mutter and mutter..type on the keyboard..finally, the supervisor goes back to staring into her computer and clerk walks past me and goes back into her cage...she comes to her stool at my window and says...no se...I turn to the supervisor..okay now tell me the deal..why is it $17.00 higher..she never once looks up at me..no concern whatsoever..that must be a the new rate charge, sir prices are going up on everything..I was dismissed with the waive of a hand..whatever..I pay it...the next month, Cable Onda's bill arrives the $17.00 is deducted from my bill as an overpayment..you paid too much you estupido gringo...I hear my Panamanian friends talk about these kinds of small stuff pain in the butt issues and they say, "yes, but that's just the way it is.." is it? It is only because you let it stay that way..Evidently customer service in this country will never improve until the average Panamanian gets fed up with being treated like a sap and starts smacking the plantain poo out of those who treat them so badly...
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: Nick Jamaica on Thursday, March 20 2008 @ 06:39 PM EDT
Well, I'd have to agree with you that they really are some screwed up outfit. It's amazing that we even get service. My bitch with them is their installs. They didn't come for two weeks after I signed the contract. I'm just going to keep them the last bill I pay until I can find something better, if there is. Can you get DirecTV or some other satellite here?
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: Capt. Morgan on Saturday, April 19 2008 @ 09:31 AM EDT
I've been here 10yrs. now and with every year the horror stories about this inept company only get worse. Let me tell you how screwed up these morons are. I've spoken to people who have gotten fed up, cancelled their service, are no longer billed, but their Cable Onda programming continues. We're not talking about "pirating," but rather no one ever bothers to shut off their service. We're also not talking about days or weeks, but at least a year or more.I refuse to use these people anymore. Although I've never used Direct TV, I've been told they're not much better. Watching free TV stations from around the world on this computer suits me just fine.What I read in Mr.Winner's article is indicative of the ol' "Pass the Buck" mentality prevalent in this society. It's a systematic problem. There's layers upon layers of bureaucracy with a lot of "empty suits" occupying cubicles and offices.Yeah, really...these guys are absolutely the worst!
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Cable Onda Has the Worst Customer Service On The Planet
Authored by: marty_b on Monday, May 26 2008 @ 02:31 PM EDT
Buyer Beware! Any business currently considering Cable Onda as a provider should re-think immediately. We were hit with that mistake and it is painful. For the past 3 weeks we have had daily service outages, with our telephone lines dropping for extended periods of time.Cable Onda is unable to cope with the number of customers they have and are at present randomly switching out telephone connections to hide the truth: They don't have the infrastructure in place to handle their customers. The service node in the Cangrejo/Bella Vista Area is over capacity and so they are randomly dropping numbers each day in an effort to cope with their problem. The internet service is suffering a similar problem: There is a standard 3% packet loss on their network due to their bad management, meaning that many services such as VOIP telephones, streaming music, streaming video, etc will not work at present Anyone wishing to leave Cable Onda should be aware that it is possible to transfer your number to another provider, but Cable Onda, will fight tooth and nail to retain you as a customer. Panamanian law requires them to release the telephone number to another provider, but you will probably need a lawyer to get it done. If you are just a residential customer wanting to watch TV then you are probably OK, but if you have telephone or internet service with this bunch of layabouts then it's time to jump ship before you get hit.
